THE BIG WORLD OF COMEDY

1.What should you give a man who has everything?A woman to show him how to work it.

2.A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I asked to see your ticket, not your stub."

3.Quote for the Day comes from Elizabeth Edwards, wife of John Kerry's running mate, Senator John Edwards: "Women need to have their voices heard in politics. Women are traditionally chaos managers.

4." During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the Vicar with an unusual offer.
"Look, I'll give you £100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out."
He passed the Vicar £100 and walked away satisfied.
It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged.
When it comes time for the groom's vows, the Vicar looks the young man in the eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "I do."
The groom leaned toward the Vicar and hissed, "I thought we had a deal."
The Vicar put the £100 into his hand and whispered back, "She made me a much better offer