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Tuesday 16 March 2010
Thursday 26 February 2009
Quotes by Famous People
Advice for Living
1.Mark Twain: "Age is mostly a matter of mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
2.Meindert Dejong (in The Wheel on the School): "... first to dream and then to do -- isn't that the way to make a dream come true?"
3.Bibliophile book catalogue: "If you don't take care of your body, where will you live?"
4.Bibliophile book catalogue: "Tact: getting your point across without stabbing someone with it."
1.Mark Twain: "Age is mostly a matter of mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
2.Meindert Dejong (in The Wheel on the School): "... first to dream and then to do -- isn't that the way to make a dream come true?"
3.Bibliophile book catalogue: "If you don't take care of your body, where will you live?"
4.Bibliophile book catalogue: "Tact: getting your point across without stabbing someone with it."
5.Digest: "One of the greatest mistakes in life is to fear continually you will make one."
6.Bibliophile book catalogue: "No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
7.Stephen Orchard: "You must forgive in order to live."
8.May V. Smith: "The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary."
9.Notice in office: "The easiest way to make ends meet is to get off your own."
10.Bibliophile book catalogue: "People who cannot find time for recreation are obliged sooner or later to find time for illness."
11.Confucius: "Learning without thought is labour lost; thought without learning is perilous."
12.Joan Baez (singer): "I've never had a humble opinion. If you've got an opinion, why be humble about it?"
13.Thoreau: "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away."
14.Mark Twain: "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
15.Emerson: "No man should travel until he has learned the language of the country he visits. Otherwise he voluntarily makes himself a great baby - so helpless and so ridiculous."
16.Albert Einstein: "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
17.Henry Ford: "Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young."
18.Bibliophile catalogue no 201: "Always use tasteful words - you may have to eat them."
Children
1.Katherine Whitehorn: "Children and zip fasteners do not respond to force ... except occasionally."
2.William Feather: "Setting a good example to children takes all the fun out of middle age."
3.Elbert Hubbard: "The object of teaching a child is to enable him to get along without a teacher."
4.Roger Lewin: "Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve."
5.Chinese proverb: "A child's life is like a piece of paper, on which every person leaves a mark."
History and War
1.A.J.P. Taylor: "Human blunders usually do more to shape history than human wickedness."
2.Bibliophile book catalogue: "The first casualty of war is truth."
3.Aldous Huxley: "That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach."
4.Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel: "What experience and history teach is this - that people and governments never have learned anything from history, or acted on principles deduced from it."
5.Enoch Powell: "History is littered with wars which everybody knew would never happen."
6.Aldous Huxley: "The most shocking fact about war is that its victims and its instruments are individual human beings and that these individuals are condemned by the monstrous conventions of politics to murder and be murdered in quarrels not their own."
7.Balaam: "I have seen men trying to teach history who hardly knew whether the Armada was a town in Brazil or the winner of the Derby!"
8.George Bernard Shaw (in The Devil's Disciple): "The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
9.Dionysius of Halicarnassus: "History is philosophy drawn from examples."
Science and Technology
1.Morris Cohen (American scientist): "Science is a flickering light in our darkness, but it is the only one we have and woe to him who would put it out.."
2.Claude Bernard: "Art is I, Science is we."
3.Theordore Roszak: "Nature composes some of her loveliest poems for microscope and telescope."
4.Elbert Hubbard: "One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man."
5.Enrico Fermi: "It is no good to try to stop knowledge going forward. Ignorance is never better than knowledge."
6.Charles Sanders Pierce: "There is one thing even more vital to science than intelligent methods; and that is, the sincere desire to find out the truth, whatever it may be."
7.Winston Churchill: "Science should be on tap, not on top."
8.Albert Einstein: "The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking."
9.Henri Poincaré: "Science is built up of facts, as a house is built of stones; but an accumulation of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house."
10.Clive James: "It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are."
Monday 12 January 2009
Witty One-Liners
1.If you are going through hell, keep going.
2.Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
3.Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
4.Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more(friendship or money).
5.You can be sure of going to hell.. your stupidity will assure you of a place!
6.An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
7.Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
8.When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
9.Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
10.Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
11.Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
12.Well done is better than well said.
13.Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
14.They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
15.I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
16.Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
17.I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it.
18.Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go anywhere!
19.Love thy neighbour, but be sure her husband is away.
20.Drink till she's cute, but stop before the wedding.
21.I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
22.When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
23.Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
24.If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
25.I don't mind where you die.. as long as you do!
26.I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
27.Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
28. You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.
29.Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls.
30.Intelligence is not trying.
2.Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
3.Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
4.Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more(friendship or money).
5.You can be sure of going to hell.. your stupidity will assure you of a place!
6.An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
7.Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
8.When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
9.Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
10.Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
11.Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
12.Well done is better than well said.
13.Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
14.They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
15.I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
16.Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
17.I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it.
18.Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go anywhere!
19.Love thy neighbour, but be sure her husband is away.
20.Drink till she's cute, but stop before the wedding.
21.I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
22.When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
23.Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
24.If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
25.I don't mind where you die.. as long as you do!
26.I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
27.Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
28. You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.
29.Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls.
30.Intelligence is not trying.
Silly Quotes
1."Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage." - Ambrose Bierce
2."Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet."
-Mark Twain.
3.I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted - George Best
4."Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand."- Benny Hill
5."A friend is someone who's there when he needs you"- Anon
6."Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours."- M. Berle
7."I'm gonna live forever, or die trying."- Joseph Heller (Catch 22)
8."Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law."- Hubert Humphrey
9."Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan
10."Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder"-Anon
11."I can see clearly now, the brain has gone"- Anon
12."I am nobodyNobody is perfectTherefore, I must be perfect!"- Anon
13."Some people say that one's personality is reflected off of their car... Well, I have no car."
- Anon
2."Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet."
-Mark Twain.
3.I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted - George Best
4."Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand."- Benny Hill
5."A friend is someone who's there when he needs you"- Anon
6."Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours."- M. Berle
7."I'm gonna live forever, or die trying."- Joseph Heller (Catch 22)
8."Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law."- Hubert Humphrey
9."Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan
10."Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder"-Anon
11."I can see clearly now, the brain has gone"- Anon
12."I am nobodyNobody is perfectTherefore, I must be perfect!"- Anon
13."Some people say that one's personality is reflected off of their car... Well, I have no car."
- Anon
Wednesday 7 January 2009
T-shirt Quotes(3)
1.God is dead and I want His job.
2.I'm the person your mother warned you about.
3.No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn't work anyway.
4.We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.
5.Never kick a man unless he's down.
6.There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.
7.The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
8.I wear the brains in the family.
9.Death is hereditary.
10.Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon.
11.I'm not unemployed, I'm a consultant
12.I'm sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.
13.My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
14.Where there's a will... I want to be in it.
15.All men are idiots And I married their king.
16.Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
17.Out of my mind... Back in five minutes.
18.Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
19.Don`t start with me,You will not win.
20.Fat people are harder to kidnap.
21.My parents said I could become anything,so I became an Asshole.
22.Take my advice,I dont use it anyway.
23.Life is sexually transmitted.
24.ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
25.It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
26.My dad thinks I am a virgin.
2.I'm the person your mother warned you about.
3.No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn't work anyway.
4.We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.
5.Never kick a man unless he's down.
6.There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.
7.The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
8.I wear the brains in the family.
9.Death is hereditary.
10.Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon.
11.I'm not unemployed, I'm a consultant
12.I'm sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.
13.My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
14.Where there's a will... I want to be in it.
15.All men are idiots And I married their king.
16.Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
17.Out of my mind... Back in five minutes.
18.Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
19.Don`t start with me,You will not win.
20.Fat people are harder to kidnap.
21.My parents said I could become anything,so I became an Asshole.
22.Take my advice,I dont use it anyway.
23.Life is sexually transmitted.
24.ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
25.It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
26.My dad thinks I am a virgin.
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