1.God is dead and I want His job.
2.I'm the person your mother warned you about.
3.No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn't work anyway.
4.We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.
5.Never kick a man unless he's down.
6.There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.
7.The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
8.I wear the brains in the family.
9.Death is hereditary.
10.Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon.
11.I'm not unemployed, I'm a consultant
12.I'm sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.
13.My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
14.Where there's a will... I want to be in it.
15.All men are idiots And I married their king.
16.Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
17.Out of my mind... Back in five minutes.
18.Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
19.Don`t start with me,You will not win.
20.Fat people are harder to kidnap.
21.My parents said I could become anything,so I became an Asshole.
22.Take my advice,I dont use it anyway.
23.Life is sexually transmitted.
24.ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
25.It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
26.My dad thinks I am a virgin.
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