1.If you are going through hell, keep going.
2.Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
3.Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
4.Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more(friendship or money).
5.You can be sure of going to hell.. your stupidity will assure you of a place!
6.An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
7.Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
8.When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
9.Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
10.Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
11.Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
12.Well done is better than well said.
13.Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
14.They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
15.I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
16.Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
17.I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it.
18.Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go anywhere!
19.Love thy neighbour, but be sure her husband is away.
20.Drink till she's cute, but stop before the wedding.
21.I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
22.When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
23.Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
24.If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
25.I don't mind where you die.. as long as you do!
26.I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
27.Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
28. You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.
29.Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls.
30.Intelligence is not trying.
Monday 12 January 2009
Silly Quotes
1."Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage." - Ambrose Bierce
2."Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet."
-Mark Twain.
3.I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted - George Best
4."Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand."- Benny Hill
5."A friend is someone who's there when he needs you"- Anon
6."Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours."- M. Berle
7."I'm gonna live forever, or die trying."- Joseph Heller (Catch 22)
8."Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law."- Hubert Humphrey
9."Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan
10."Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder"-Anon
11."I can see clearly now, the brain has gone"- Anon
12."I am nobodyNobody is perfectTherefore, I must be perfect!"- Anon
13."Some people say that one's personality is reflected off of their car... Well, I have no car."
- Anon
2."Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet."
-Mark Twain.
3.I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted - George Best
4."Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand."- Benny Hill
5."A friend is someone who's there when he needs you"- Anon
6."Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours."- M. Berle
7."I'm gonna live forever, or die trying."- Joseph Heller (Catch 22)
8."Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law."- Hubert Humphrey
9."Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan
10."Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder"-Anon
11."I can see clearly now, the brain has gone"- Anon
12."I am nobodyNobody is perfectTherefore, I must be perfect!"- Anon
13."Some people say that one's personality is reflected off of their car... Well, I have no car."
- Anon
Wednesday 7 January 2009
T-shirt Quotes(3)
1.God is dead and I want His job.
2.I'm the person your mother warned you about.
3.No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn't work anyway.
4.We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.
5.Never kick a man unless he's down.
6.There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.
7.The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
8.I wear the brains in the family.
9.Death is hereditary.
10.Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon.
11.I'm not unemployed, I'm a consultant
12.I'm sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.
13.My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
14.Where there's a will... I want to be in it.
15.All men are idiots And I married their king.
16.Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
17.Out of my mind... Back in five minutes.
18.Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
19.Don`t start with me,You will not win.
20.Fat people are harder to kidnap.
21.My parents said I could become anything,so I became an Asshole.
22.Take my advice,I dont use it anyway.
23.Life is sexually transmitted.
24.ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
25.It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
26.My dad thinks I am a virgin.
2.I'm the person your mother warned you about.
3.No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn't work anyway.
4.We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.
5.Never kick a man unless he's down.
6.There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.
7.The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
8.I wear the brains in the family.
9.Death is hereditary.
10.Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon.
11.I'm not unemployed, I'm a consultant
12.I'm sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.
13.My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
14.Where there's a will... I want to be in it.
15.All men are idiots And I married their king.
16.Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
17.Out of my mind... Back in five minutes.
18.Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
19.Don`t start with me,You will not win.
20.Fat people are harder to kidnap.
21.My parents said I could become anything,so I became an Asshole.
22.Take my advice,I dont use it anyway.
23.Life is sexually transmitted.
24.ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
25.It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
26.My dad thinks I am a virgin.
Saturday 3 January 2009
t-shirt quotes(2)
1.What happens in this shirt, stays in this shirt.
2.Florida: the place where old people go to die.
3.Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt.
4.Im not perfect but parts of me are.
5.Work sucks but I need the bucks.
6.If it’s too loud, you’re too old.
7.Hey, Im up here ^
8.i am really lovable; but not more than a night..
9.God,if there is any work around me..please remove it!!
10.you spend your whole life thinking your on the right track, only to find out your on the wrong train
11.lets play head and tails,,,heads i get tail,,,tails i get head,,,
12.Dont blame me, I was born Awesome!
13.One hand cleans the other
14.virginity is a disease….. and i’m the Doctor!!!!
15.I can only compensate so much for other people’s stupidity.
16.If plugging it in doesn’t help, then try turning it on.
17.You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be misquoted and then used against you.
18.Thank you for calling tech support, you’re ignorance is my job security.
19.Always remember… you’re unique just like everyone else.
20.Excuse me, but do I look like someone who cares ?
21.Do not disturb, I’m disturbed enough already.
22.I don’t have a license to kill, I have a learners permit.
23.People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
24.If I throw a stick, will you leave?
25.FAILURE is not an option, it comes all bundled up with the software.
2.Florida: the place where old people go to die.
3.Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt.
4.Im not perfect but parts of me are.
5.Work sucks but I need the bucks.
6.If it’s too loud, you’re too old.
7.Hey, Im up here ^
8.i am really lovable; but not more than a night..
9.God,if there is any work around me..please remove it!!
10.you spend your whole life thinking your on the right track, only to find out your on the wrong train
11.lets play head and tails,,,heads i get tail,,,tails i get head,,,
12.Dont blame me, I was born Awesome!
13.One hand cleans the other
14.virginity is a disease….. and i’m the Doctor!!!!
15.I can only compensate so much for other people’s stupidity.
16.If plugging it in doesn’t help, then try turning it on.
17.You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be misquoted and then used against you.
18.Thank you for calling tech support, you’re ignorance is my job security.
19.Always remember… you’re unique just like everyone else.
20.Excuse me, but do I look like someone who cares ?
21.Do not disturb, I’m disturbed enough already.
22.I don’t have a license to kill, I have a learners permit.
23.People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
24.If I throw a stick, will you leave?
25.FAILURE is not an option, it comes all bundled up with the software.
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